sometimes when i play the piano i feel myself spirited away. transported into a different world.
In a world where I am free to express myself in any way I would want to.
feelings of destitution, sometimes hope, anger, hatred, and love...sometimes a struggle against the Divine One...or just simply a struggle.
whenever I'm transported into this world, I would never want to come back.


but the music, however beautiful, must have an end. I've often struggled with this concept of "finale"; why must there be an end to something so beautiful?

in the same way the life that I live would reach a certain end.
one very day I will be judged how well I live my life here on earth.

I believe that I would live to see the Armageddon; day by day more and more signs are coming true, more and more of reality spits into my face.

Time is running out.

like how all pieces of music end, the world shall end as well.

On a sidenote, the day I played rachmaninov still lingers within me...at least it was something very special to me.

macbookpro pwns :D:D

wheeeeeeeeeee

WHEEEEEEEEE

watched hairy porter on friday and i think it sucks. like...zzzzzzz dammit....

transformers better xD

wheee.

and yea the math seminar was crappy too, i learnt nothing from it =( except some random algorithm called chaikin algorithm.

grhh i am HUNGREEE NAO I NEED FOOD

and sheepy can fly :D

I was thinking, what would I like to see on my gravestone?

A great accomplishment that could benefit the mankind? xD or just a simple line that goes "a great grandfather, father, and husband" LOL

okay this is random.

but this also forces me to think: what exactly is my purpose here on earth? there is only 1 life I can ever have, and would I spend it achieving my own accomplishments or would I spend it touching and impacting lives?

Winning the world, or winning, for the world?

This quote will forever follow me wherever I go: "In this world, not of this world, impacting the world."

how true.

just a thought:

evolution - attempts of scientists to explain life without the explanation of a Creator.

creationism - attempts of mostly religious people to explain life with an Intelligent being at the back of it.

faith - trust you can have in religion. but the matter of fact is, science itself has become a religion - especially within evolution.

I can give you arguments for and against evolution or creationism for that matter, but it is really up to your faith whether you believe in which.

so, why do most scientists believe in evolution? because they want an explanation to life from an atheistic viewpoint, ie, no God is needed to make it happen. God makes no sense in science, because science cannot prove the existence of God, for science is limited and rigid if you look at it.

what is finiteness? finiteness comes from the infinity. put it this way: i can give you my favorite cube say, after an infinite amount of years, but the truth is, would you get it? nope =) and if I say, that there is an infinite amount of years before the present, it would absolutely not make sense, because 2009-infinity = negative infinity, and thus, we would be living in negative infinity. =)
thus we all compromised and believed in a point of the beginning. from this, you can see that time is finite.
if time is finite, matter is finite too. matter cannot exist without time, thus matter is governed by time.
matter, can arguably be made from energy with E=mc^2. the truth is, if the universe had a beginning, there must be something which ignited the start which came into today's existence through a finite amount of time.
finiteness cannot prove infinity, because the largest amounts of finiteness cannot prove infinity, yet infinity can prove that finiteness exist.
in other words, if there is no infinity, the finite cannot exist. finiteness cannot make infinity, only the other way round.
the atheistic view of life - asks for the evolution of life to occur without a Creator - but the point is, there has to be an infinity, otherwise, finiteness cannot exist, ie, there has to be a source of finiteness. without finiteness, whatever i am saying cannot exist.
The only reason why I believe in God today is simply because without the infinite of which finiteness as we are today comes about, nothing makes sense at all. for the finite does not exist.

I still love you more.

just a random rant.

it feels sucky when no one supports you in a decision.

it leeches away all the drive in you, and sucks up all the confidence in you.

you think, "maybe this isn't what I'm supposed to do after all."

being in this situation is crazy.


but really, am i doing it for myself? it seems to point towards that, and i don't want it to happen again.

this is what you called a screwed up life.

my name is neek and i like sheepyyy
I hope to fly one day so I can drop down from the sky and eat people. I think it can actually work =)

music perhaps?






my beloved
sandwich :)
joanna
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designer: vivienne
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