venture into greater heights. TIMELESS!

Monday, August 24, 2009

i can't stand it when you are cold to me.
drives me crazy.
i hate you.

goodbye dear friend i flew away@ 3:58 AM

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I am finding it hard to accept that no one seems to be believing me anymore, and no one seems to be supporting me anymore.

I don't get any damn support anymore, in fact, I've been questioned on my intentions of doing so. I've been discouraged from it indirectly, and it IS irritating.

I can't help to just break down at times, thinking of it. I know all these happened so that I will be ridded of this slowly but surely.

you know what? nothing can stop me, because this is what I am born to do! I've thought about it for a very long time, and I am sure that this is my destiny.
otherwise what were all these past sufferings for? nothing at all? I refuse to believe so, though I am being psychoed to believe so.

I don't want to please people. I want to do what I am here for. The purpose of my existence is to fulfill this obligation set upon me, for I know my existence is not by chance.
without anyone supporting whatever I am doing, I feel alone, I feel helpless.

but reminding myself of that purpose, that goal I am to fulfill in my lifetime, gives me hope.
I need to grit my teeth and just barge through every single thing in my way. This is my dream. My last chance would be almost over. I need to fight for it, through all these persecutions I am facing.
I hope one day they will support whatever I am doing again...

on another note, i realize that I am somewhat emotionally dependent on someone. maybe I should just let go..

goodbye dear friend i flew away@ 6:58 AM

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I think i'm going a bit too far. sigh.
I should seriously stop in case anything happens and that I will not be able to take it.
Lost, completely lost, and utterly helpless.
Perhaps I do not dare to face reality.
I really don't know.
Question mark, question mark, question mark.

goodbye dear friend i flew away@ 6:30 AM